I don’t know what came over me, or maybe I do, I just didn’t give a damn anymore. I heard sleepiness and panic in her voice and I knew I woke her. It was 12:15 am. “Cheryl??? What’s going on?” “Mom, don’t worry. Everything’s fine. Do me a favor though, unlock the door so Torre (her dog) doesn’t bark. I’m coming home with the dog.” That’s right I was headed to “mommy and daddy’s” house.
On the second ring, “Cheryl?” “Helen, it’s me. Sorry for calling so late, but I know you’re a night owl.” There was silence for a second and she said sweetly but with authority, “You’re doing the right thing, I knew this was going to happen. I’m proud of you.” Funny thing is, I didn’t even tell her anything yet. Some may say that it’s odd that I had such a relationship with my divorce attorney. I say, I was very lucky because she was and continues to be a friend and mentor to me. I stayed on the phone with her almost the whole hour drive “home”, and by the end of the call we decided to meet at a restaurant the following afternoon.
There were no boxes or bags to unpack from the car. The frigid cold January air hit the our bodies (you know…me and the dog’s) as we left the car and walked to the door. I walked into my parents’ bedroom, and put my still frozen cheeks to my mom’s head while she lay in the bedhalf asleep. “I’m happpy you came home, I’ll make you coffee in the morning. I put extra pillows on your bed upstairs.” The dog and I slept together that night, and I think he was just as happy as I was. I knew leaving everything behind was the right decision.
I recounted what occurred the previous day as well as pertinent parts of the past few years that “pushed” me to my decision to say F*** everything that doesn’t matter several times that Sunday. Bull Honkey to working hard to support someone that doesn’t appreciate it or reciprocate it. To hell with paying for bills and/or things that are for someone else. Screw paying for things that don’t matter anyway (EVEN MY HOUSE).
I still was unsure of the possible consequences of my decisions, but I knew I believed what I felt inside and knew I had everything I needed. I listened to the Josh Grobin song Believe just a few short weeks prior to my departure from the House of Horrors upon the request of Helen. His words have emannated happiness and courage ever since. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfKi00kOj-k